i find this incredibly frightening and offensive. it leaves way too much open for interpretation.
for example, i just thought of this and had no plans to add it, so thank god i thought of it (atheist here, BTW): i'm an alcoholic. my father and both grandfathers and so on as far as we know--drunks/alcoholic. so i don't drink too often but sometimes i can drink 7 beers and have a fantastic, rowdy time, have a few glasses of wine or some shots, maybe all that, 11 drinks, i'm just fine.
sometimes i have three glasses of 9% beer and i'm just fine--for one hour and a half, then i am GONE, i mean DRUNK AS FUCKING HELL and sometimes blacking out, and guys would follow me around the west village, even getting out of their cabs to approach me and laugh when i picked up bottles and threw them at their feet to keep them away until i got to the 1 or got to where foot traffic and lights were heavy around union square.
okay, so put that into perspective. how often are you supposed to be consenting via app? consent can change at any second. what is this bullshit that NOBODY HAS FUCKING USED JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY TO FUCKING SAY SO YET!? we're talking about how epidemic anal rape is among generation y, and i tell you, there have been five guys who did that, so i fucking ditched them, no dating, no friendship, nothing ever except seething hatred and scorching Hell. why is this app something that can be used in court to blanket consent? it's stupid to expect that that can do it. or are they going to patent it and have people sign agreements bound by federal law that no matter what happens once you click we're good to go!--
--shit, okay, great, you can't report to the cops that you're missing half your leg because the asshole decided to cannibalize ONLY part of you, thanks, fuck my app contract.
like, that's extreme, i know, but think of every single variant in between. when i was 15 i wanted a french kiss and got the worst pain of my life when the guy put his finger in my ass. do i want an app to cover consent to fingering my ass without warning or the specific request for consent?
my most hated rapists are the skullfuckers, no matter their length or girth. the puniest penis will find its owner cut out of my life, no matter how many beatings and rapes i have to endure while i tell roommates never to let those assholes back in to rape me and e-mail and push away the shitheads. they want to rape by forcing any girl or woman they choose to gag and even vomit. not my game. it's my life and my body, and you will get the fuck out of both forever if you do that to me once. you are a danger to all women and i wish we could blacklist you publicly because i would warn everyone in the world of these shitheads.
that is not gonna be covered by this app, no sirree bob, and you see it in porn, the girls are crying and scared, pissed, heartbroken, and if that's what men get excited over and want to cover in this app, girls...girls...women, ladies, womyn, gals, oh, you are not thinking if you want this app too.
it's a fucking misogynistic app. i have sex when i'm drunk. i have been raped when i'm drunk, and i have been raped when i'm just about blacking out or while i'm asleep, while i'm blacked out, then come to during or after, and i will tell you one fucking universal truth, and you will not fucking deny it.
ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT IS VERY EASY TO RECOGNIZE.
when things are consensual, here's what happens. BOTH people give each other warm looks, and then there is TINGLING. there is no tingling in rape, not all-over tingling, uh, no. penis tingling, ego tingling, anger tingling. do. not. count.
then there are touches, small ones. if the first one is rejected, that's that. the next touch on THAT VERY OCCASION will be the other person's later on, if at all, and maybe there are still dates to go on, maybe not. but it will be the person who rejected the first. do not tell me i'm bullshitting. why do people not ever bring this up?
then there is! most people usually or always kiss; when two strangers, remember, this is all about strangers and the consequent familiarity that MAINTAINS the level of consent...anyway, when two strangers do not kiss, that isn't necessarily a bad formula, but if one person likes to kiss so much that this is a shock or turn-off, this is the optimal time to say, "no, i don't like this." i've done that twice, and i've been raped both times. that is bad, bad, borderline evil, evil borderline on malignant.
the sex. the sex can include fingering, rimming, cunnilingus, fellatio, anal sex, vaginal sex, foot-sucking, anything anybody wants. does the app cover BDSM? hell, why would you expect an app to cover someone tying you up and flogging you bloody? but if the other person has that in mind as you sign the app, then--the app is still open to interpretation and would not stop someone desperate, an MRA even, from thinking, "ooooooooo YOU SAID YES FUCK YOU GODDAMN YOU I WILL FUCKING GET WHAT I PAID $70 FOR TONIGHT"
what if you say yes, and the guy says, "go down on me!" but he won't eat you out, and you want to say no? will you feel scared that you already signed a consent form? will you worry that he will remind you about it? will he grab you by the hair and push you down, ranting that you said yes? rapists are many and tempers run short.
what if you consent and then the guy forces you to go down on him but he has smegma? or has chlamydia but doesn't feel like going to the doctor? or the man has sores on his penis? or doesn't use a condom? flip that to apply to women, and then add on either side the risk of HIV and pregnancy.
really, yeah, so much could go wrong, and i am just shocked at the dearth of earnest argument like this; it's important to remind people who don't really think that this is a dangerous portent.
besides, all this bullshit--why isn't anyone just addressing what it all comes down to? people who slut-shame, including men after they've raped, are saying ONE thing, and we must stop it forever: "what happened to the long dresses and the high necklines? what happened to proper victorian/puritan values?" you are misremembering history, and perpetuating the false notion that there has ever been one entirely prudish culture. low necklines vs. nudity vs. sheer sheaths vs. zero panties vs. netted dresses (ancient Egypt) vs. fig leaves over the pubis vs. jeans vs. short skirts vs. the puritans, who didn't always wear high necklines, and who encouraged heavy petting between courting couples to ensure a good sexual match, and then encourage a healthy, joyful sex life.
this is one of the most oppressive GLOBAL eras. globally we're too aware of each other's shame and adopt too much of each other's anger as well. grow the fuck up, prudes and MRAs...life is bigger, history is vast in our middling brains, and there are more important things in the world, which all cultures knew until electronics, and celebrated, than sex.
and therefore rape.
